Hello again, I typed about two paragraphed of something else then decided not to. I have been staring at this page for about five minutes and I don’t know what I want to say, I just know that there is a need to say something. Today, I read a post by Beautybeyondbones and what she had to say was meant for me. I cannot presume too even understand what she is going through but I can understand the lesson she has learnt because I am going through mine.
Life doesn’t always go as planned, I feel like this sentence is to obvious but you wont understand what it means until your plans just fall before your very eyes. I don’t normally talk to my mom (or anyone) when something is really wrong with me because I feel like she has a lot to deal with and I honestly have no interest in adding more problems to her plate, but this time around I had to. She reminded me again as so many others have that my path in life is completely different from others and even though things are not going according to my plan, they are going according to Gods plan.
I spent 6 months last year doing absolutely nothing and I can tell you that it was the worst time of my life. I didn’t know what it meant to be depressed until last year. I felt like I was in a box that I couldn’t get out of and my brain cells were dying. I don’t even think that my house mate knew the extent of my state of mind because I tried my hardest to keep a smile on my face. In all honesty, I just wanted the world to end.
When it was December, I started getting this hope from nowhere, I realized that the months that was spent doing nothing could have been used to make myself a better person and then I became really excited about 2017. While others where making new years resolution of major things, all I had on my list was to never again let myself feel the way I had for those few months and to make sure that I drink a lot of water everyday.
As the new year rolled in I made sure to be optimistic everyday and it wasn’t easy. Though things are not exactly where I would like them to be, I am in a better state of mind than I was last year and I am a better person for it. I have come to appreciate the gift of life and everything that I have and own. I realized that there are far more important things in this world than I have let myself see, also sharing your problems even if it’s just for the sake of talking make things a little better. And most of all I have realized that through everything God is always with me.
He is there to make me stronger, not just for now but for the future, not just for myself but for others. He is always present and he will guide me through my own destiny not through what others have set for me but what he has set for me. I couldn’t be more grateful for the woman that I am today and even though I might need someone to remind me of this sometimes, it will always remain true and now I am not scared of trying new things even if others don’t agree with it.
Yesterday marked one year of me sharing on WordPress, thank you for staying with me for a year…..and as always thank you for reading.