It’s bright and sunny outside, it hasn’t been this beautiful in a long time. At least that’s what everyone around her is saying, she can’t see that. To her everything is still the way it has always been dark, scary and lonely. She can’t see the bright colors or feel the sun, oh how she longs to feel the sun hitting her skin and laugh…like actually laugh till her belly hurts. If you ask everyone around her they would tell you she is doing just fine, since she is always smiling and never MIA. Even if she decides to tell someone this is how she feels they wont believe her, to them she always looks so happy and alive, this is how it has always been.
But there is also something else, she can’t place her finger on it. It feels like something is missing, like there is a giant hole right between her. She has done everything she can to fill it up, from having new hobbies to switching from one relationship to another and even changing jobs. It’s all so tiring now, she is just going through the motions but not really being involved in anything.
Where did the light go, where did all the plans crawl to, at 25 she cant believe this is where she is. She had bigger dreams. To those that said dreams do come through maybe they were all wrong. Don’t get it wrong, she is a hard worker, very organised and very reliable to everyone else, but not to herself.
It’s getting worse, she has to take the next step now, she might not be there tomorrow, she has to do something to change the situation or at the very least remove herself from this consuming feeling of non-existence. Her legs are moving, she is not in control because she is so lost in the thought of just finding a quick fix. There it is, she knew the minute she saw it and then she stopped…
Interested in more? Come back next week.